As it's getting closer to Valentine's Day, I decided to post again in hopes that you would share some romantic and sexual ideas with me. I'm always looking to add to the list I already have. Please feel free to include things on topics like sexual fantasies, sexual rewards within a BDSM relationship, and loving Domination scenarios/scenes/techniques. If anyone has suggestions on the following topics I'd love to hear them, please contact me through the "Contact & Requests" page. Some of them may even end up posted, so please let me know if you wish to remain anonymous.
* Nothing involving bodily fluids, gags, group scenarios, severe pain, humiliation, rape play, or any forced sexual activity please.
I just wanted to wish everyone a happy Valentine's day. If you have any special plans for the evening or are giving your boyfriend/girlfriend something cool that seems sexual, romantic, or BDSM related, please feel free to share it in the comments section below, or email it to me via the "Contact & Requests" link above.
As the Fifty Shades Darker movie is coming out on February 10th, I'm wondering how many people have something in mind along the lines of a nice dinner out, catching the new movie, and maybe a little fun with their partners afterwards. I'd love to hear your ideas.
Personally I liked hearing the story from Christian's perspective (as is the case in Grey) more than I did from Ana's perspective. I find Ana to be a bit whiny, childish, and immature. She also uses the word "Jeez" far too often for my liking, and I get sick of her continuous obsession with Christian's issues related to his past. He is not broken, he does not need to be "fixed", he is simply severely hurt and needs love and acceptance, and to be able to heal.
That being said, I did still enjoy reading Fifty Shades Darker. I was expecting it would be darker in terms of the BDSM content in it, and was glad to see I was wrong. While the book has it's issues, and is from Ana's perspective, it is good. I will still be reading Fifty Shades Free, and may post on it as well, but here is information on the second book. For those of you interested, the second movie is coming out around Valentine's Day again this year.
Christian realized at the end of the previous book that he desperately wants and needs Ana. This leads him to the decision that he should make a new arrangement with Ana - one that let's them both get what they need, and one that she can't turn down. He decides he loves her too much to hurt her like he did again, and offers her the relationship she wants, though she no longer wants simply a boyfriend. She helps him understand how they can use BDSM in a more loving way, and he agrees to forgo punishing her.
There are issues from both his ex-domme, Elena, and one of his ex-subs, Leila. While Ana freaks out about one of the issues with Leila, all things considered I think Christian handled the situations well enough. There are also issues with her work as a publishing assistant. They lose Charlie Tango, worrying Ana and his family far more than Christian expected, and he proposes to her. While we can't read much about the wedding or wedding plans, they do get married at the end of the book, and Freed starts out with them on their honeymoon.
Here is something I wrote for an Eden Fantasy's contest around January 13, 2016.
Christmas night he walked into their bedroom carrying a box elegantly wrapped in shinny black paper, with beautiful red ribbon ending in a perfect bow. He had just finished showering, and looked sexy as hell with his wet tousled hair, teasing grin, and solid black pants. He walked over to the bed where she was sitting, wearing the long sleeved lace baby doll with matching panties he asked her to wear that night, and held the package out to her.
“ What’s this?” She asked taking the package from him. “We already exchanged our gifts earlier today.” “ Yes, but I had something I wanted to give you when we were alone, closer to bedtime. Open it.” “It’s beautiful.” She said, looking at the black leather box, with a small silver heart lock on it. “The lock even matches the one on my collar.” “It does. I’m glad you like it.” He reached over and unlocked it. “Let me explain the purpose behind giving you these items tonight. In the mean time, why don’t you lay back?” She did as he requested, while he pulled out one of the items from the box.
“I want you to enjoy things a lot; however I still intended to tease you frequently over the next few days. This can see you while I finish telling you what I plan to do to you between now and New Year’s Eve.” He slide the Twin Bullets into her panties – one into her pussy and one pressed into her clit - before turning it on. “I want these to be nice and hard for me as well.” He teased her nipples a minute before placing a snug pair of silver Tight Squeeze Clamps with little white pads, onto them. She moaned as they bit into her nipples. “You know I love your reactions.” He turned the bullets up while tugging on the chain of her clamps, eliciting another moan from her.
“Tomorrow night I want you to write something sexy for me. It can be one of your longer fantasies or about what I’m planning to do to you this week, but while you’re writing I want you to have this slid down into your panties.” He held up a small, curved, purple vibrator with a few buttons on it that she recognized as the Eden Silicone Massager. “I’ll tease you with it a while to find the setting I want to use on you, then while you’re writing I may adjust the settings a little to make you even closer to coming for me, or turn the intensity down a little if it seems to be too much for you. I want it to stay there, teasing the hell out of you, the entire time you are writing for me. I want you to write in explicit detail, tell me what I should do to you, and how I should make you feel. I want you to be very wet and close to coming for me by the time you’re done. I want to know you’re soaking wet for me when we head out for dinner. Once we get back, I plan on teasing you awhile with the Sophia.” He turned the bullets up again. “I’m not going to test the other settings tonight. Sunday night, before we head out I want to use the Elisium on you a while, letting you enjoy all ten of its settings. Once we get home, you can enjoy having me tease you a while with the Petite Treats Vibrator. We will be using all thirty settings, before we go to sleep. The following evening I’ll be using the Silky Treats on you. That night, before we go to sleep, I want to use the Eden Flow on you, letting it enter your pussy while teasing your clit at the same time. You will likely be squirting for me a lot while we test out it’s thirty settings, and you may even while we use the other toys, which is fine, but I don’t want you to actually come for me until after we’re back here Thursday night. Tuesday morning I want to use the Duality on you, letting it tease you until you’re damned near begging me to let you come for me, while I’m rocking it into your clit and g-spot. Later on, while we’re soaking in the Jacuzzi tub, I plan on teasing you a while with a Long Waterproof Bullet, which happens to have ten settings. This cute little thing,” he said holding up another smaller vibrator, “is called The Perfect Companion, and also has thirty settings, which I want to let you experience before bed. We’ll be staying in your parents guest bedroom the following night, so you’ll need to stay quiet, but I plan on using it on you again while we’re there, using whichever setting gets you the closest, while I’m taking you from behind, until it’s all you can do to not come for me before I let you sleep. New Year’s Eve, I want you to wear the Adventure for me. It’s quiet so it won’t be heard, but you’ll need to refrain from letting on as it has seven different settings I’ll be using on you randomly throughout the party. After we get home, I plan on having a little party of our own. I’ll be using the Petite Treats Wand on you for a while, finally letting you come for me, until you don’t think you can come anymore. It also has thirty settings, but I’ll let you decide if we test multiple ones out that night or not. You’ll need to come for me desperately by then, so you may not actually want to test the other settings out.” She was rocking her hips a little into the vibrator he had placed against her clit, her lips were parted, and she was breathing faster.
He starting playing with the claps he had on her nipples and her light moaning became more intense. “You like that, don’t you?” He asked. “Yes…” She was so turned on, she could barely manage to answer. “Touch me.” She did as he requested, and he rewarded her by making out with her and teasing her nipples a little more. “Even though I don’t plan on letting you come for several days, are you looking forward to me teasing you that much?” “Yes…” “I’m glad, so am I. I love you so much, and I am so glad you are mine. You are so good for me, and you please me more than you could possibly know.” “Thank you, I try, and I love you a lot too. I’m glad I am yours. I always want to be yours.” “You’re welcome, and I always want you to be mine.” He said while removing her panties and the bullets, and turning them off. “I want to take you now.” He thrust into her, and she moaned even louder. “Can I come for you now?” He asked, after a taking her roughly for a few minutes. “Yes, please.” “Can I come on you?” “Yes, please.” “Touch me.” He said, pulling out of her. He had the head of his cock almost touching her clit. When she starting stroking him, he came hard and fast right against her clit, and she cried out arching into him. After shooting his cum all over her clit and pussy, he thrust back into her, finishing coming inside her. “I like having your clit and pussy bathed in my cum. I want you to stay like that tonight, and I want to stay in you. I may even try that the rest of this week if that’s okay.” She moaned again pushing up into him. “You seem to like that idea.” “Yes, a lot actually.” “I can tell. You can hardly stay still. This week should be a lot of fun for both of us, though it won’t be easy for you to take.” “I know, but I love having you tease me, and you seem to enjoy it a lot too.” “I do, but I don’t want to hurt you either, and I’m glad you enjoy it. You seem so turned on and yet so content.” “I am. I love you, goodnight.” “Good, that’s exactly how I want you. I love you too, goodnight.”
Here are some characteristics/behaviors I attribute to good Doms.
Understands their responsibilities as Dom:
Your primary responsibilities are to take care of us, your submissive, and meet our needs. Under no circumstance should we ever have reason to believe we can not count on you to be there for us, or to provide us with love and support. While we are yours, you should also be ours in a sense. You need to guide us, nurture us, and care for us. If you fail to take care of us, you are failing in your role as our Dom. Even if you are punishing or discipline us, we have the right to your love, affection, and support - make sure that we get those things constantly, and we will be best able to meet your needs.
Creates a safe environment:
As your submissive, we need to know that we’re safe with you on a 24/7 basis. We should have the right to talk to you about anything, without needing to worry about you getting upset with us, punishing us, or walking out on us. BDSM relationships require a great deal of trust, and it’s important to us that we always have open and honest communication with you (us to you, and you to us) - both verbally and non-verbally. Allow us to either simply say "no" or "slow down", or to have safewords and signals, even in regards to things we’ve already agreed to – something may happen that makes it no longer safe for us emotionally, you have the right to stop or slow down the activity at any time, we should too. We may not ever choose to use them, but it's nice to no that they're available if necessary.
Shares their feelings with us:
Doms have emotions too. Believe it or not, we're not expecting you to be perfect, and we want you to share your emotions with us. It's important for us to understand how you feel about us, that we're pleasing you, and if you're proud of us or something we've done. It's also important for us to understand if we've done something to hurt, upset, or disappoint you - but please be gentle in how you explain that. You may find that an adult conversation gets you as far if not further than seriously punishing us would. Once we've made up to you, please let us know that you forgive us as well.
Gives us love, affection, and attention:
It doesn't matter where we are or how you do it as long as it's in a loving manner that's safe for the environment we're currently in, simply let us understand that you're there for us and that we're yours. Touch us, hug and kiss us, hold our hand, cuddle with us, and yes when we're alone, provide us with sexual attention as well. Even the smallest thing could mean the world to us.
Treats us with compassion:
Respect us and our emotions. Let us cry if we feel the need to, without making her feel bad about it or demeaning us for it, but never do anything to intentionally make us cry.
Understands the difference in punishing and being abusive:
If you're punishing us and we’re honestly asking you to stop - stop what you're doing. If we start crying and can tell you where we went wrong, and seem to honestly be remorseful or apologetic, you've made your point, we’ve learned our lesson, you should back off and explain that you're stopping early because we seem to honestly understand what you wanted us to learn. Provide aftercare, and make sure we understand that we’re still yours and we still have you.
Realizes that we are still a person:
Even as your submissive we still have the right to be treated with respect, love, and dignity. You can not earn our full devotion, respect, and trust by causing us to honestly suffer physically, emotionally, or sexually, or by humiliating us - even to punish or claim us. We should also be allowed to wear clothing, sleep in the bed with you, and use the furniture in most situations - though I realize there are some who prefer not to at times.
Understands there's a difference in dominating and controlling:
As our Dom, you should control most aspects of our sex life. You should always take into account how we feel, never make us do or endure anything we’re uncomfortable with (even if we’re usually okay with the activity), and never cause us to suffer emotionally or humiliate us. You do have the right to control when we come for you, when we can touch ourselves, and to sexually tease us (but make sure we both enjoy it). While we may be yours, we’re not actually property and should not be treated as though we were. All sexual and nonsexual activity and scenes should be enjoyed by both of us. While I believe that most nonsexual aspects of our lives should be under our control, there are areas that we may both wish for you to control, simply talk to us about it first.
Understands that limits are there for a reason:
No matter what you need to respect our hard and soft limits. You wouldn't like it if we forced, coursed, or otherwise manipulated you into doing something that you view as one of your limits, never ignore or put aside one of ours.
Sorry I didn't get to post this sooner, but I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. I hope everyone's holiday season went well. If you have any interesting resolutions or got any interesting gifts this year, I'd love to hear about them in the comments section. Best wishes for 2016!
I enjoy researching and discussing sexual topics. I am part of the BDSM community, and would say I am somewhere between a switch and a submissive. I am not interested in finding a partner or playmate. I have a Dom, who I think is amazing. I am collared, which is something I find very comforting and exciting.
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