- Understands their responsibilities as a Dom:
Your primary responsibilities are to take care of us, your submissive/switch, and meet our needs. Under no circumstance should we ever have reason to believe we can not count on you to be there for us, or to provide us with love and support. While we are yours, you should also be ours in a sense. You need to guide us, nurture us, and care for us. If you fail to take care of us, you are failing in your role as our Dom. Even if you are punishing or discipline us, we have the right to your love, affection, and support - make sure that we get those things constantly, and we will be best able to meet your needs.
- Creates a safe environment:
As your submissive, we need to know that we’re safe with you on a 24/7 basis. We should have the right to talk to you about anything, without needing to worry about you getting upset with us, punishing us, or walking out on us. BDSM relationships require a great deal of trust, and it’s important to us that we always have open and honest communication with you (us to you, and you to us) - both verbally and non-verbally. Allow us to either simply say "no" or "slow down", or to have safewords and signals, even in regards to things we’ve already agreed to – something may happen that makes it no longer safe for us emotionally, you have the right to stop or slow down the activity at any time, we should too. We may not ever choose to use them, but it's nice to no that they're available if necessary.
- Shares their feelings with us:
Doms have emotions too. Believe it or not, we're not expecting you to be perfect, and we want you to share your emotions with us. It's important for us to understand how you feel about us, that we're pleasing you, and if you're proud of us or something we've done. It's also important for us to understand if we've done something to hurt, upset, or disappoint you - but please be gentle in how you explain that. You may find that an adult conversation gets you as far if not further than seriously punishing us would. Once we've made up to you, please let us know that you forgive us as well.
- Gives us love, affection, and attention:
It doesn't matter where we are or how you do it as long as it's in a loving manner that's safe for the environment we're currently in, simply let us understand that you're there for us and that we're yours. Touch us, hug and kiss us, hold our hand, cuddle with us, and yes when we're alone, provide us with sexual attention as well. Even the smallest thing could mean the world to us.
- Treats us with compassion:
Respect us and our emotions. Let us cry if we feel the need to, without making us feel bad about it or demeaning us for it, but never do anything to intentionally make us cry.
- Understands the difference in punishing and being abusive:
If you're punishing us and we’re honestly asking you to stop - stop what you're doing. If we start crying and can tell you where we went wrong, and seem to honestly be remorseful or apologetic, you've made your point, we’ve learned our lesson, you should back off and explain that you're stopping early because we seem to honestly understand what you wanted us to learn. Provide aftercare, and make sure we understand that we’re still yours and we still have you.
- Realizes that we are still a person:
Even as your submissive we still have the right to be treated with respect, love, and dignity. You can not earn our full devotion, respect, and trust by causing us to honestly suffer physically, emotionally, or sexually, or by humiliating us - even to punish or claim us. We should also be allowed to wear clothing, sleep in the bed with you, and use the furniture in most situations - though I realize there are some who prefer not to at times.
- Understands there's a difference in dominating and controlling:
As our Dom, you should control most aspects of our sex life. You should always take into account how we feel, never make us do or endure anything we’re uncomfortable with (even if we’re usually okay with the activity), and never cause us to suffer emotionally or humiliate us. You do have the right to control when we come for you, when we can touch ourselves, and to sexually tease us (but make sure we both enjoy it). While we may be yours, we’re not actually property and should not be treated as though we were. All sexual and nonsexual activity and scenes should be enjoyed by both of us. While I believe that most nonsexual aspects of our lives should be under our control, there are areas that we may both wish for you to control, simply talk to us about it first.
- Understands that limits are there for a reason:
No matter what you need to respect our hard and soft limits. You wouldn't like it if we forced, coursed, or otherwise manipulated you into doing something that you view as one of your limits, never ignore or put aside one of ours.
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